On Titan of Wokeness by Krister Larson
originally published in Video Video Zine, May 2016
What does YouTube watch to fall asleep? Do you think YouTube has dreams? Shuffling little fragments of its day in and out of each other. A figure swims up from out of its memories. Someone who reminds you of your father, but also that girl from gym class, Noelle. And the pause right before someone speaks. The pause happens again. The repetition of a mantra, an affirmation, where each word has meaning on its own, sure, but in the rational light of day they don't quite stand up to logic, all strung together that way. But it made so much sense at the time, spoken so emphatically by that mermaid who was also a motivational speaker, earnestly leading you through a guided meditation to achieve your dreams. ASMR videos make me nervous, but in a comforting way, all that whispering at the edge of comprehension, like a dream. All these far away women and their soothing voices like an ocean, like an endless well. This is what Titan of Wokeness by Krister Larson feels like to me. YouTube, dreaming, humming to itself in a late night restless sleep. Teaching itself how to self-actualize. How to envision its goals for happiness and confidence. How to get that perfect bold eye. "To achieve it, you must doing work." It wakes up, wipes its eyes, writes it all down, not quite sure what it means, but filled with the sense that it has learned something in the night.